I'm hating treatment right now and there isn't much that I am able to do about this feeling. I've been restricting like mad! And the part that fustrated me is that I know better. But is that really changing the fact that I shouldn't use symptoms, no. But it is making me to focus and be honest on my chech in forms. But to be truthful that part sucks because at times I feel that my treatment team uses that against me and that truly sucks
For instances yesterday I turned in my check in form into the drop box. Went into the treatment room xompleted a survey and as I was placing the survey into the drop box vanessa proceeds to ask me if I had my exchanges for the say. I was honest and told her no and that I had missed a fat and a fruit at lunch. Then Vanessa asked what was the likely hood that I was going to make up the exchange, I told her that it was a greatly because I wasn't going to arrive home until after 10 pm and I could always grab a snack when I arrived home. Well Vanessa didn't agree with me because she told me that she was going to give me a boost. I hate that. I never have given her or any of the other staff a reason not to trust me. I feel as if she took my power of chocie away from me. I hate my eating disorder with a passion and therebis nothing that I feel that I am able to do abou it and it hurts. I need support and I don't feel that I have that. Eating disorders are such lonely dieases
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